The Throne

Yesterday in small group we had a discussion regarding if we truly do long for heaven and for Jesus to come back. We can say that we do, but do we still wish for other things here on earth to happen first? With an ashamed giggle, I had to admit that just minutes before going to group that day, I was thinking out loud with my sister of what I think, or hope, the next few years will bring about. It seemed like a pretty simple plan, what God would want. But then as we started discussing in group, I realized that the idea of Jesus coming back before any of these things happening hadn't entered my head.

If Jesus came back before I ever get married, before I have my own kids (biological or adopted), before I get to do full time missions, before, before, before... would I be disappointed? Or do I choose Jesus' return before my one-, three-, or five-year plan?

With that rolling around in my head, I drove down to LA for church service and a meeting. After an amazing message through Hosea, we entered a time a worship with an exhortation from the pastor: "Worship Jesus right now with everything. If you won't in here, you won't anywhere else."

Wanting to focus on Jesus alone during this time, I found myself distracted. I thought about how much I loved the music, I wondered what was to come with my meeting after church, I thought of the people I didn't get to see that day because I was out of town... and all the while, I witnessed the people around me with stretched out arms, singing as loud as they could as they praised God for all He has done.

Why was I so distracted? What do these people understand about this time of worship that I don't that causes them to praise without distraction, without worrying what others think, or without trying to impress others with their spirituality (you can tell the difference...)? I wanted to be before God's throne and worship with everything in me.

The throne.

"And above the expanse over their heads there was the likeness of a throne, in appearance like sapphire; and seated above the likeness of a throne was a likeness with a human appearance. And upward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were gleaming metal, like the appearance of fire enclosed all around. And downward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and there was brightness around him. Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around.

Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking."

-Ezekial 1:26-28

"...I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!"

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke."

-Isaiah 6:1-4

"At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald."

-Revelation 4:2-3

The throne!

Marriage? Kids? Missions? My plans? Do I want more than any of these things to see him on His throne? To worship him with all the creatures of the earth? To fall on my face before Him??

YES Jesus! I want Heaven!



Just an hour later, I was at our ministry meeting. We discussed new changes and what is to happen next. And all the while, I sat across the table from someone I care about, who wears their pain on their face. A weak "I'm here" smile was the most I knew how to offer. It killed me.

Marriage. Kids. Missions. My plans. Do I want more than all of these things to be in a place where there is no pain? To see an end to slavery, to divorce, to gossiping, to dissension amongst family members. To be in a place where there are no more tears?

Yes Lord. I want heaven. Come soon.