Stubborn? Me? Nah.

God and I have talks every so often... and they always end up the same way. Here is the most recent we have had that has been continuous and has repeated itself over the last few months or so.

Me: God... what do you have planned for me?
God: Look over there.
Me: No.
God: Don't you want to know what I have planned?
Me: It can't be that. I'll go do this instead.

God: How did your plans work out?
Me: Awful.
God: How about you look over there this time?
Me: No. I'm sure my next go at this will be better.

God: How'd it go this time?
Me: Awful. Again. But there's always this other thing I would like to try.
(This repeats about a million times. Then one day...)

God: You sure you don't want to look over there?
Me: Ok let's look. You did create the universe, didn't you? But if it doesn't work, don't tell me I didn't say so.

Me: God. :::on knees::: Wow. Thank you.

The End.

"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
but the LORD weighs the heart." - Proverbs 21:2

The fear/joy/happiness... and blogging... comes full circle

A year ago I finally agreed to starting a blog as a way of presenting prayer requests. Rachel was in the Chatsworth train accident on September 12, 2008. It was the weirdest weekend...

I would usually ride the train, but that day I drove because I went to a concert at the Greek that night. During the concert I received tons of text message from people trying to make sure I was okay, but because of the bad service up in Griffith Park, I could not respond to any of them. Being the selfish person I am (and being unaware of the severity of the accident), I felt annoyed at the text-disturbances during the concert. When I finally had service after I left the show, I called my mom so she knew I was okay and decided I would text people back in the morning.

It didn't even occur to me that Rachel could have been on that train.

A year later, I look back on that day, and the day after which was spent entirely in the hospital waiting room as we all waited to find out what would happen next to our friend and the other survivors there. The coming weeks were filled with visits to the hospital, trying to find ways to get food to the family, and trying to help relieve people of their nights spent at the hospital also. It was strange... like a Twilight Zone episode... but, it was also something else. Amidst all the fear of wondering what would happen to Rachel and slowly seeing her progress, it was also... amazing. As a family, my brothers' and sisters' faith and dedication to each other were tested. God worked through everyone in ways I have never seen before. It felt like, for the first time, I understood what it meant to be a Christian living in a purpose-filled community with others.

I find myself now in a place where... well... we don't exactly have that. Some people long for it, but many don't. It was different for me then to have it, but now it is so strange to be without it. I miss intimacy and comradery with my brothers and sisters.

Lord you brought me back here for a purpose. Let my memories of what brought your family of believers in Simi Valley together a year ago be what continues to fuel my love for You and you people today.