Leave it to Oswald Chambers to say so elequently (and in some words that I had to look up!) what I was trying to explore in my question about living above reproach. (Check out his daily devotions on http://www.myutmost.org/)
THE CONSECRATION OF SPIRITUAL ENERGY
"By whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world." Galatians 6:14
If I brood on the Cross of Christ, I do not become a subjective pietist, interested in my own whiteness; I become dominantly concentrated on Jesus Christ's interests. Our Lord was not a recluse nor an ascetic, He did not cut Himself off from society, but He was inwardly disconnected all the time. He was not aloof, but He lived in an other world. He was so much in the ordinary world that the religious people of His day called Him a glutton and a wine-bibber. Our Lord never allowed anything to interfere with His consecration of spiritual energy.
The counterfeit of consecration is the conscious cutting off of things with the idea of storing spiritual power for use later on, but that is a hopeless mistake. The Spirit of God has spoiled the sin of a great many, yet there is no emancipation, no fullness in their lives. The kind of religious life we see abroad to-day is entirely different from the robust holiness of the life of Jesus Christ. "I pray not that Thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldest keep them from the evil." We are to be in the world but not of it; to be disconnected fundamentally, not externally.
We must never allow anything to interfere with the consecration of our spiritual energy. Consecration is our part, sanctification is God's part; and we have deliberately to determine to be interested only in that in which God is interested. The way to solve perplexing problems is to ask - Is this the kind of thing in which Jesus Christ is interested, or the kind of thing in which the spirit that is the antipodes of Jesus is interested?
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The Wounded Man
"[Job] says of God, "So Thou dost destroy [man's] hope" (14:19). Job's experience is that of the wounded male, the man who has been wounded by life's misfortune but, being a man of faith, knows that God somehow is behind the misfortune. In this sense, a relationship with God only complicates the problem. The man without faith merely deals with the calamity, but the man of faith must wrestle with God over it... Either way, one is disappointed. But disappointment with God is sometimes more difficult to accept than dealing with suffering without God. Factoring God into the equation only heightens the struggle. " The Masculine Journey by Robert Hicks
First off, don't ask why I am reading this book. LONG story but it was actually recommended to me by someone I trust and it has been amazing how much I have been learning as I read it... about myself, God, others... specifically the men in my life... especially the ones who have had dramatic impact in my life and who I am today, like family members or others I have been/are close to. I am really grateful for this book of 'masculinity.' hehe
This quote hit me pretty hard (as many others in the book have). I thought about how many people I have known who have walked away from their faith when things got too tough to be able to believe in God anymore. And then I think of all those I know who, through tough times, have only grown closer to God during those times and have actually become all the more stronger Christians because of their trials, not regardless of them. It's so amazing to see. And so sad to contrast.
I look at these two opposing reactions of Christians in pain and it seems like there are two things present in the resilient Christian and two things lacking in the one who falls away. I don't know that there is any biblical basis for this (if there is, that's even better!), but I know it wouldn't contradict the Bible and it has remained pretty consistent through what I have experienced.
Those two things are Foundation and Fellowship. The F words of Christianity. Oops! ;)
Foundation: A person with a strong foundation in Christ is one who trusts God regardless of what others say. He is not a Christian just because his family is, because his friends are, or because that's what the church says he should be. He has dug into the Bible and found it to be truth in his life. He knows that calamity may come his way and although no one is ever fully prepared for pain, he knows it will come and he is willing to stand strong throughout it because he knows Jesus is his savior... through it all.
Fellowship: A person with fellowship will stand strong through trials because she has a band of believers who pray for her, encouage her to stay strong, and keep her accountable when she is tempted to walk away. Unlike Job's friends, they will be slow to speak unless God confirms there is something that needs to be said. Otherwise, they will be gentle with their words and love on the struggling Christian the way that Jesus would want them to... ceaselessly!
I think back on the things I have been through, the extreme trials where I have questioned God's intentions as He had "dealt bitterly with me" (Ruth 1:20), and have been tempted to walk away from my faith in Jesus completely because of it. All I can think of then is how thankful I am to God for establishing in me a foundation that no one and nothing can shake... no matter how tempted I have been to turn away, I could never do it. It would be against everything in me to do so. And I am also thankful for fellowship. I am thankful for family members, friends, pastors, and mentors who have loved me through trials and have continuously fed me reminders of God's faithfulness when I have needed it. And of course I am thankful for Jesus who provides it all... the foundation, the fellowship, and for the trials themselves. They have made me who I am today.
"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:10
Ironic that a post written on Thanksgiving would end in thankfulness to the only One who truly deserves it? Nah. Not ironic. More than appropriate, in fact!
First off, don't ask why I am reading this book. LONG story but it was actually recommended to me by someone I trust and it has been amazing how much I have been learning as I read it... about myself, God, others... specifically the men in my life... especially the ones who have had dramatic impact in my life and who I am today, like family members or others I have been/are close to. I am really grateful for this book of 'masculinity.' hehe
This quote hit me pretty hard (as many others in the book have). I thought about how many people I have known who have walked away from their faith when things got too tough to be able to believe in God anymore. And then I think of all those I know who, through tough times, have only grown closer to God during those times and have actually become all the more stronger Christians because of their trials, not regardless of them. It's so amazing to see. And so sad to contrast.
I look at these two opposing reactions of Christians in pain and it seems like there are two things present in the resilient Christian and two things lacking in the one who falls away. I don't know that there is any biblical basis for this (if there is, that's even better!), but I know it wouldn't contradict the Bible and it has remained pretty consistent through what I have experienced.
Those two things are Foundation and Fellowship. The F words of Christianity. Oops! ;)
Foundation: A person with a strong foundation in Christ is one who trusts God regardless of what others say. He is not a Christian just because his family is, because his friends are, or because that's what the church says he should be. He has dug into the Bible and found it to be truth in his life. He knows that calamity may come his way and although no one is ever fully prepared for pain, he knows it will come and he is willing to stand strong throughout it because he knows Jesus is his savior... through it all.
Fellowship: A person with fellowship will stand strong through trials because she has a band of believers who pray for her, encouage her to stay strong, and keep her accountable when she is tempted to walk away. Unlike Job's friends, they will be slow to speak unless God confirms there is something that needs to be said. Otherwise, they will be gentle with their words and love on the struggling Christian the way that Jesus would want them to... ceaselessly!
I think back on the things I have been through, the extreme trials where I have questioned God's intentions as He had "dealt bitterly with me" (Ruth 1:20), and have been tempted to walk away from my faith in Jesus completely because of it. All I can think of then is how thankful I am to God for establishing in me a foundation that no one and nothing can shake... no matter how tempted I have been to turn away, I could never do it. It would be against everything in me to do so. And I am also thankful for fellowship. I am thankful for family members, friends, pastors, and mentors who have loved me through trials and have continuously fed me reminders of God's faithfulness when I have needed it. And of course I am thankful for Jesus who provides it all... the foundation, the fellowship, and for the trials themselves. They have made me who I am today.
"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:10
Ironic that a post written on Thanksgiving would end in thankfulness to the only One who truly deserves it? Nah. Not ironic. More than appropriate, in fact!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Living Above Reproach
"He has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him" - Colossians 1:22
"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach..." - 1 Timothy 3:2
"if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined." - Titus 1:6-8
The Bible talks a lot about living a life that is above reproach. But what does that mean? Does that mean not doing anything that could be rebuked in any way or by any person? Do we sometimes make up extra rules that are not Biblical (legalism?) to ensure that no one could criticize a thing that we do? And if we do, are we then hindering the work that God could be wanting to do through us?
In many ways, Jesus was not above reproach to our standards...
"And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?" - Mark 2:15-16
At that moment, Jesus was being rebuked. Granted, not for the right reasons, but in the Pharisees' minds, and maybe even his disciples' minds, he was not above reproach.
Perhaps, in our venture to live holy lives, we have jumped too far. We have turned something that God can use for good, and turned it into a situation that could be the 'appearance of evil' so we then don't act on the things we feel like God could be leading us to do.
So I guess my goal is to define what it means, and doesn't mean, to live above reproach. I want to get back down to basics. I don't want to live in fear of what something could look like to others and in the process miss out on God's mission for me.
"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach..." - 1 Timothy 3:2
"if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined." - Titus 1:6-8
The Bible talks a lot about living a life that is above reproach. But what does that mean? Does that mean not doing anything that could be rebuked in any way or by any person? Do we sometimes make up extra rules that are not Biblical (legalism?) to ensure that no one could criticize a thing that we do? And if we do, are we then hindering the work that God could be wanting to do through us?
In many ways, Jesus was not above reproach to our standards...
"And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?" - Mark 2:15-16
At that moment, Jesus was being rebuked. Granted, not for the right reasons, but in the Pharisees' minds, and maybe even his disciples' minds, he was not above reproach.
Perhaps, in our venture to live holy lives, we have jumped too far. We have turned something that God can use for good, and turned it into a situation that could be the 'appearance of evil' so we then don't act on the things we feel like God could be leading us to do.
So I guess my goal is to define what it means, and doesn't mean, to live above reproach. I want to get back down to basics. I don't want to live in fear of what something could look like to others and in the process miss out on God's mission for me.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Prostitute Outreach - 11/20/09
This is a repost of a note about last night's outreach... so amazing! I wasn't out with them last night but I did have the privilege to eat (pizza and killer salsa!) and pray with everyone beforehand. I second what Laurie says in this note that prayer is THE MOST important part of this! Without prayer and without God's guidance, we would be a mess out there on the streets, in our families, our relationships... everything! and next important thing is the fellowship. The more I get to know my brothers and sisters, the more I feel safe and unified with them and I know they have my back and they know I have theirs. We also can trust each other that we are all going to God in prayer as we follow God's leading. God is so good!
The Team (minus a few very important members... someday we will get a picture of ALL of us! hehe):
Anyway, here is Laurie's note... enjoy!! You will be so blessed by it!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LAST NIGHT'S AWESOME PROSTITUTE OUTREACH!!!
by Laurie Ishii
Wow. I'm still recovering from last night. Lol!!! Yesterday was a very long day/night. I went to lunch with a friend and she dropped me off at another friend's house we were proceeded to go all around town, last stop being Home Depot and then home right before everyone was coming over for pizza, gift bag's and prayer!
Our time of prayer was such a blessing (as well as the food and fellowship of course). This is my own personal belief but it's my heart to do more than just go out on outreach/ministry. I believe for us to be a tighter knit group, or "family" that it is important to have fellowship (and food of course lol) so that we can get to know each other outside of just doing ministry. Basically, we are putting our lives on the line every time we go out on the street in the middle of the night - it is important that we are in unity, even be willing to lay our lives down for one another out there.
There are a number of people that we meet and pray for as well as pray for each other - and we also do a lot of praying during the week, either together in person or on the phone. PRAYER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, THE "LAUNCHING PAD" OF EVERYTHING WE DO. :)
Last night after praying and making gift bags, we headed out.
We got on the track around 11pm. We didn't see girls right away, but it wasn't long before we noticed one here, another there, standing against a wall in the shadows or on a dim lit corner.
The first girls we approached were S*** and T****** walking an adorable stray doggie one of them had found. Ar first they looked at us very sceptically, S*** may have even appeared a bit scared. We introduced ourselves and when we asked them if we could pray for them, they both said YES! So we all held hands and prayed together. We gave them gift bags and they thanked us.
There were quite a few girls we saw after that while driving up and down the track but there were a few that really "stood out" - because either we got to connect with and/or pray with them.
There was Cr****, who said that she was 22 but did NOT look that old and who also looked about 4-5 months pregnant. I asked her if she had a pimp and she said he was her boyfriend, that she was "different from the other ho's because they don't get to keep their money. I get to keep my money. I just bought a house." Sad. She did say that eventually she wanted to stop turning tricks; she said something about hoping that having a house would change things... she let us pray for her before we parted ways.
As we walked down the street, we noticed a guy standing on the sidewalk (obviously a pimp by the way he was dressed and his "croc's" - shoes). There were girls across the street and a runner "spitting" at them. We approached this man, A****** and handed him a pimp track. We introduced ourselves (it was me, Everett and Lindsey) and I felt compelled to tell A****** that God didn't call him to be pimping, in the game... I can't remember exactly what I said but basically told him he was created for destiny, to be a leader, that he is leading people in the wrong direction and that he is to be a world changer and to lead people in a positive way. I asked him if he knew Jesus and he said he didn't - all three of us (Lindsey, Everett and I) went on to tell him how much Jesus loves him, he died for him, how God wants a personal relationship with him etc.
It was awesome!!! The Lord was totally ministering to A****** and we must have talked to him for at least 20 minutes or more. He shared with us that he wanted to be a professional comedian one day - he was always funny growing up but that his dad beat him whenever he cracked a joke and it kind of quenched his dream... he said that it seems like every time he starts to get somewhere or move forward something happens to mess it up... he said that he was supposed to go to Hollywood but instead he ended up on the track... I said "That's because God wanted us to talk to you!!!!"
We were able to pray with A****** and we could tell that he was very touched. The crazy thing about the whole thing is that there were girls all around us - I mean, for this guy to let us talk to him, to let us PRAY FOR HIM IN FRONT OF THE PROSTITUTES... that is humbling! Everett even overheard a girl say something about us talking to A****** about Jesus!!!
What an awesome, DIVINE appointment!!! A****** knows a lot of the same guys (pimps) I still talk to on the phone every now and then - they older "mack" pimps. We exchanged numbers and he even said he might check out church when he's in town again. (He's from outta state).
It is also awesome to know that Jen and Johnny are in the car interceding for us while we are talking to people.
The next ladies we saw were across the street from A******, two were standing by the bus stop, another sitting on the bus bench. We asked them if we could bless them with a gift bag, and one of the ladies standing said, "No, we don't want nothing from you guys, what are you doing out here anyway, you need to go away etc." She was pretty angry. :(
The lady sitting on the bench said, "You don't have to be mean to them, they're being nice - I'll take one" and stuck her hand out. The angry lady said, "Oh, you're out here to bless the ho's." She looked at us with disdain and I looked at her in the eye and said, "I WAS A HO. I love you and we want you ladies to know that Jesus loves you and you are special to Him. Please let us give you this small gift and bless you" handing her a gift bag. She kind of made a frown and said, "Well, I guess I can take one for my kid." :) (Yay! Praise God!)
After that we drove around a bit more and one of the girls we call "America's Next Top Model" (because she's so strikingly beautiful) had been texting me off and on through the night and we wanted to see her but she wasn't going to be out until 2am. Then a friend of mine who I am praying so hard for to come to know Jesus - he text me and man, he needs a lot of prayer, the enemy is really trying to keep him from coming to Jesus, beating him up with guilt, shame and condemnation. Anyway we saw another girl and this time Jen C, Lindsey and Everett went to talk to her while Johnny and I stayed in the car and I texted back and forth between two people at the same time. (Multi-tasking lol) Jen didn't turn the car or the lights off and after about 15-20 minutes a police car shined a spotlight on us! Lol.
I got out of the car and they asked what we were doing, I told them that we were just waiting for our friends who were talking with a girl about Jesus on the corner. The cop in the passenger seat said, "Well you guys are gonna get run up by some gang bangers if you don't turn your car off." I was so into what I was doing texting that i didn't even realize the car was still running!
It was great though, Jen, Lindsey and Everett were able to talk and pray with a woman, Sh**** who had just gotten out of prison and she was crying and they exchanged numbers.
By this time, my bladder was about to explode and we got back on the freeway and headed towards home. :) The whole night was amazing, the Lord is moving in such a powerful way and it is so encouraging to see people's lives touched!
The first time we saw the girl we call "America's Next Top Model" - she wouldn't even talk to us. She took a gift bag from us but didn't say a word - she almost looked like she'd start crying. The next time we saw her, she said that she'd read my story (tract) and was surprised that I used to be a prostitute. We exchanged numbers and now we text quite often - this morning we talked on the phone. We know that this young lady is going to come to Christ!
Serving Jesus is the most exciting, REWARDING life there is. Don't get me wrong, we may not see immediate rewards - but our treasures are stored in heaven. Just seeing something as small as a girl going from not talking to us to saying hi or taking a gift bag from us after weeks of having her not acknowledge us is a big thing!!! It may seem like a small thing to some but to us it is great progress! :)
What a privilege it is to know Jesus.
The Team (minus a few very important members... someday we will get a picture of ALL of us! hehe):
Anyway, here is Laurie's note... enjoy!! You will be so blessed by it!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LAST NIGHT'S AWESOME PROSTITUTE OUTREACH!!!
by Laurie Ishii
Wow. I'm still recovering from last night. Lol!!! Yesterday was a very long day/night. I went to lunch with a friend and she dropped me off at another friend's house we were proceeded to go all around town, last stop being Home Depot and then home right before everyone was coming over for pizza, gift bag's and prayer!
Our time of prayer was such a blessing (as well as the food and fellowship of course). This is my own personal belief but it's my heart to do more than just go out on outreach/ministry. I believe for us to be a tighter knit group, or "family" that it is important to have fellowship (and food of course lol) so that we can get to know each other outside of just doing ministry. Basically, we are putting our lives on the line every time we go out on the street in the middle of the night - it is important that we are in unity, even be willing to lay our lives down for one another out there.
There are a number of people that we meet and pray for as well as pray for each other - and we also do a lot of praying during the week, either together in person or on the phone. PRAYER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, THE "LAUNCHING PAD" OF EVERYTHING WE DO. :)
Last night after praying and making gift bags, we headed out.
We got on the track around 11pm. We didn't see girls right away, but it wasn't long before we noticed one here, another there, standing against a wall in the shadows or on a dim lit corner.
The first girls we approached were S*** and T****** walking an adorable stray doggie one of them had found. Ar first they looked at us very sceptically, S*** may have even appeared a bit scared. We introduced ourselves and when we asked them if we could pray for them, they both said YES! So we all held hands and prayed together. We gave them gift bags and they thanked us.
There were quite a few girls we saw after that while driving up and down the track but there were a few that really "stood out" - because either we got to connect with and/or pray with them.
There was Cr****, who said that she was 22 but did NOT look that old and who also looked about 4-5 months pregnant. I asked her if she had a pimp and she said he was her boyfriend, that she was "different from the other ho's because they don't get to keep their money. I get to keep my money. I just bought a house." Sad. She did say that eventually she wanted to stop turning tricks; she said something about hoping that having a house would change things... she let us pray for her before we parted ways.
As we walked down the street, we noticed a guy standing on the sidewalk (obviously a pimp by the way he was dressed and his "croc's" - shoes). There were girls across the street and a runner "spitting" at them. We approached this man, A****** and handed him a pimp track. We introduced ourselves (it was me, Everett and Lindsey) and I felt compelled to tell A****** that God didn't call him to be pimping, in the game... I can't remember exactly what I said but basically told him he was created for destiny, to be a leader, that he is leading people in the wrong direction and that he is to be a world changer and to lead people in a positive way. I asked him if he knew Jesus and he said he didn't - all three of us (Lindsey, Everett and I) went on to tell him how much Jesus loves him, he died for him, how God wants a personal relationship with him etc.
It was awesome!!! The Lord was totally ministering to A****** and we must have talked to him for at least 20 minutes or more. He shared with us that he wanted to be a professional comedian one day - he was always funny growing up but that his dad beat him whenever he cracked a joke and it kind of quenched his dream... he said that it seems like every time he starts to get somewhere or move forward something happens to mess it up... he said that he was supposed to go to Hollywood but instead he ended up on the track... I said "That's because God wanted us to talk to you!!!!"
We were able to pray with A****** and we could tell that he was very touched. The crazy thing about the whole thing is that there were girls all around us - I mean, for this guy to let us talk to him, to let us PRAY FOR HIM IN FRONT OF THE PROSTITUTES... that is humbling! Everett even overheard a girl say something about us talking to A****** about Jesus!!!
What an awesome, DIVINE appointment!!! A****** knows a lot of the same guys (pimps) I still talk to on the phone every now and then - they older "mack" pimps. We exchanged numbers and he even said he might check out church when he's in town again. (He's from outta state).
It is also awesome to know that Jen and Johnny are in the car interceding for us while we are talking to people.
The next ladies we saw were across the street from A******, two were standing by the bus stop, another sitting on the bus bench. We asked them if we could bless them with a gift bag, and one of the ladies standing said, "No, we don't want nothing from you guys, what are you doing out here anyway, you need to go away etc." She was pretty angry. :(
The lady sitting on the bench said, "You don't have to be mean to them, they're being nice - I'll take one" and stuck her hand out. The angry lady said, "Oh, you're out here to bless the ho's." She looked at us with disdain and I looked at her in the eye and said, "I WAS A HO. I love you and we want you ladies to know that Jesus loves you and you are special to Him. Please let us give you this small gift and bless you" handing her a gift bag. She kind of made a frown and said, "Well, I guess I can take one for my kid." :) (Yay! Praise God!)
After that we drove around a bit more and one of the girls we call "America's Next Top Model" (because she's so strikingly beautiful) had been texting me off and on through the night and we wanted to see her but she wasn't going to be out until 2am. Then a friend of mine who I am praying so hard for to come to know Jesus - he text me and man, he needs a lot of prayer, the enemy is really trying to keep him from coming to Jesus, beating him up with guilt, shame and condemnation. Anyway we saw another girl and this time Jen C, Lindsey and Everett went to talk to her while Johnny and I stayed in the car and I texted back and forth between two people at the same time. (Multi-tasking lol) Jen didn't turn the car or the lights off and after about 15-20 minutes a police car shined a spotlight on us! Lol.
I got out of the car and they asked what we were doing, I told them that we were just waiting for our friends who were talking with a girl about Jesus on the corner. The cop in the passenger seat said, "Well you guys are gonna get run up by some gang bangers if you don't turn your car off." I was so into what I was doing texting that i didn't even realize the car was still running!
It was great though, Jen, Lindsey and Everett were able to talk and pray with a woman, Sh**** who had just gotten out of prison and she was crying and they exchanged numbers.
By this time, my bladder was about to explode and we got back on the freeway and headed towards home. :) The whole night was amazing, the Lord is moving in such a powerful way and it is so encouraging to see people's lives touched!
The first time we saw the girl we call "America's Next Top Model" - she wouldn't even talk to us. She took a gift bag from us but didn't say a word - she almost looked like she'd start crying. The next time we saw her, she said that she'd read my story (tract) and was surprised that I used to be a prostitute. We exchanged numbers and now we text quite often - this morning we talked on the phone. We know that this young lady is going to come to Christ!
Serving Jesus is the most exciting, REWARDING life there is. Don't get me wrong, we may not see immediate rewards - but our treasures are stored in heaven. Just seeing something as small as a girl going from not talking to us to saying hi or taking a gift bag from us after weeks of having her not acknowledge us is a big thing!!! It may seem like a small thing to some but to us it is great progress! :)
What a privilege it is to know Jesus.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Singles Anonymous
Hi. My name is Jen. And I am a single.
Whew! So glad to finally have that out there. It's not like it wasn't written across my forehead, right?
After working for a bit of time now in LA and coming from living in Simi Valley where there were more single people in my life than married people, I had forgotten there is another world in a far far place (called Lancaster) where people get married a lot earlier and have kids at a much younger age also. There is nothing wrong with that... not at all... but for those of us, especially in our (late!) twenties or older (wow I feel old), who haven't been "lucky enough yet" to have found "The One," we singles end up looking more like science projects to the rest. Poke Poke. Prod Prod.
Why do people always feel the need to point out the obvious, but in the form of a question? Is it supposed to not seem as intrusive if it is asked rather than stated? Like if I were to say to someone:
"Say, how's the mole on your face?"
Is that better than plainly pointing and laughing? Maybe...
Ok no but really... what's with the "How's your love life?" question? If you do 'have a love life,' I suppose it is an easy conversation to hold. But what if you don't? Most people don't settle for the "I am in love with Jesus!" answer, even though that should be MORE than sufficient...
So, you wanna know about MY love life, huh? What's with the whole singleness gig, huh?
Ok so here goes...
I don't mind being single.
GASP!!!
I know I know. But hang in there with me. It's not that I don't want to be 'un-single' someday. But, most of the time, when I am not comparing myself to others or concerned about my ever decreasing egg count (I'm a nerd, I know. My brain works strangely.), I have learned to more than embrace where God has me in my life. Here is why:
(I always end up making lists... what's with that??)
1. I can do what I want. I know that sounds selfish but it is so fun being about to take off when I want to go hang out with friends, go visit a church, go to another town for the weekend, etc... WITHOUT having to make sure my boyfriend/husband doesn't already have plans for us.
2. Not only can I do what I want, I have the choice to do what I don't want to do. What?? Explanation: There are times when unexpected things come up... a friend ends up in a hospital, a person needs help moving, someone needs help with their rent. These are things that I wouldn't necessarily want to have to do compared to other things, but if it is needed, I want to be right there without anyone wondering if I will be there, be able to count on me, or not. I want people to be able to "expect" me to be there... no matter what.
*Sorry peoples... but I am not falling into that "single people have no commitments so they are allowed to be flaky" trap... not cool*
3.Ummm... have you smelled diapers lately? Have you smelled MEN lately? Eek! ;)
4. This is where God has me. I look at all He has been doing lately through the prostitute ministry and doors He is opening here, and it gets me thinking. I have no doubt that He could choose to do these things through me even if I was married, but where I stand right now, would I want to trade any of this for something else? If this is where God wants me, as a single, then how dare I tell God His plan isn't good enough? His plan is more than good enough... It is perfect!
I get the feeling I will one day write a sequel to this blog because God always shows me new reasons why He has me single... but for now...
So there you have it. Go ahead and ask me about my love life all you want. I am in love with a man who loves me more than ANY man on Earth EVER WILL! He DIED for me! So yes... I have an amazing love life. He is all I need.
Whew! So glad to finally have that out there. It's not like it wasn't written across my forehead, right?
After working for a bit of time now in LA and coming from living in Simi Valley where there were more single people in my life than married people, I had forgotten there is another world in a far far place (called Lancaster) where people get married a lot earlier and have kids at a much younger age also. There is nothing wrong with that... not at all... but for those of us, especially in our (late!) twenties or older (wow I feel old), who haven't been "lucky enough yet" to have found "The One," we singles end up looking more like science projects to the rest. Poke Poke. Prod Prod.
Why do people always feel the need to point out the obvious, but in the form of a question? Is it supposed to not seem as intrusive if it is asked rather than stated? Like if I were to say to someone:
"Say, how's the mole on your face?"
Is that better than plainly pointing and laughing? Maybe...
Ok no but really... what's with the "How's your love life?" question? If you do 'have a love life,' I suppose it is an easy conversation to hold. But what if you don't? Most people don't settle for the "I am in love with Jesus!" answer, even though that should be MORE than sufficient...
So, you wanna know about MY love life, huh? What's with the whole singleness gig, huh?
Ok so here goes...
I don't mind being single.
GASP!!!
I know I know. But hang in there with me. It's not that I don't want to be 'un-single' someday. But, most of the time, when I am not comparing myself to others or concerned about my ever decreasing egg count (I'm a nerd, I know. My brain works strangely.), I have learned to more than embrace where God has me in my life. Here is why:
(I always end up making lists... what's with that??)
1. I can do what I want. I know that sounds selfish but it is so fun being about to take off when I want to go hang out with friends, go visit a church, go to another town for the weekend, etc... WITHOUT having to make sure my boyfriend/husband doesn't already have plans for us.
2. Not only can I do what I want, I have the choice to do what I don't want to do. What?? Explanation: There are times when unexpected things come up... a friend ends up in a hospital, a person needs help moving, someone needs help with their rent. These are things that I wouldn't necessarily want to have to do compared to other things, but if it is needed, I want to be right there without anyone wondering if I will be there, be able to count on me, or not. I want people to be able to "expect" me to be there... no matter what.
*Sorry peoples... but I am not falling into that "single people have no commitments so they are allowed to be flaky" trap... not cool*
3.Ummm... have you smelled diapers lately? Have you smelled MEN lately? Eek! ;)
4. This is where God has me. I look at all He has been doing lately through the prostitute ministry and doors He is opening here, and it gets me thinking. I have no doubt that He could choose to do these things through me even if I was married, but where I stand right now, would I want to trade any of this for something else? If this is where God wants me, as a single, then how dare I tell God His plan isn't good enough? His plan is more than good enough... It is perfect!
I get the feeling I will one day write a sequel to this blog because God always shows me new reasons why He has me single... but for now...
So there you have it. Go ahead and ask me about my love life all you want. I am in love with a man who loves me more than ANY man on Earth EVER WILL! He DIED for me! So yes... I have an amazing love life. He is all I need.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Write it Down!
I know I have been blogging a lot lately. Don't get TOO used to it. It's just a fluke...
I sometimes complain about being in Lancaster. I guess I need to explain now why God has finally convinced me to stop the complaining and rejoice over my return ;)
A few weeks ago, I met this girl, Kristin, at our college group. She has been a missionary teacher abroad for quite a few years and is now back here for a while. As we were talking, she asked what I did and I told her about the prostitute ministry and how I hoped to someday start one here in Lancaster. She looked at me weird and said she just met a lady two days before who was asking her if she knew anyone who would want to go out and talk to the people on the streets of Lancaster with her. Umm... what are the chance of that? so I excitedly gave Kristin my number so she could give it to this lady who I knew nothing about, but I just had a feeling... ;)
Last Sunday, I got a phone call from a lady named Debbie. She was the one whom Kristin had met. I started telling her about the ministry I am in and she was telling me about her heart for the lost in Lancaster. That day I was about to head to LA to go to another training class for the After Hours ministry (which I had to speak at!! whoa!! That might be another blog I have to write... LOL) and invited her to come, but she couldn't make it. So we made plans to meet for dinner on Thursday.
But in this phone conversation, she mentioned wanting to start a home of some sorts. Whether it was for girls only, or another homeless shelter (there is only one that we know of around here... and it is small... and kinda smelly...), she didn't know. But ever since Sunday, I had been thinking about it and that Thursday morning, the morning of my meeting her, I had decided I wanted to start writing down ideas for our possible ministry and/or home. Not only ideas, but what I knew God would want to do with it. It was as if I would be planning it out, without a building, in faith that, if it's His will, God would provide the building if I step out in faith and start 'planning.' I don't usually think stuff like that. I'm not exactly a prophet. LOL But something in me said to start writing things out in faith that something would happen.
Thursday night we met at Panera Bread and immediately she took out her Bible. She told me God had her up at 4am yesterday praying for me and He gave her a verse for me (Isaiah 61:1-3) which she wrote out on a card and laminated for me. So sweet. She then pulled out a notepad with other verses she had come across that morning. One was Habakkuk 2:2-3:
"Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay."
WHOA! Write it down?? It will surely come?? Crazy! Just as she had come across that verse and was praying for me, that very morning I had the idea to start writing things down... wow...
She then turned the next page and she had a whole page filled with ideas for a home/shelter!
AND THEN!! Here's the best part. Oh Lord, if this isn't confirmation, please show me!
She mentioned that she went to the Dream Center in LA and went through discipleship program there. I said that the lady I do ministry with went through the same program... Laurie Ishii. She almost fell off her chair. They knew each other!! For years and years! What a small world is that?? I mean seriously... what are the chances that I would meet an ex-junkie/prostitute in Hollywood through a friend in Simi and then 6 months later meet an ex-druggie from Huntington Beach in Lancaster who know each other?? So cool!!
Needless to say, I am a little jazzed! I dunno what God is going to do through this and what He will actually lead Debbie and I to do, but even still, things are slowly falling into place and every day God gives me another glimpse as to why the AV is where He truly wants me. :)
I sometimes complain about being in Lancaster. I guess I need to explain now why God has finally convinced me to stop the complaining and rejoice over my return ;)
A few weeks ago, I met this girl, Kristin, at our college group. She has been a missionary teacher abroad for quite a few years and is now back here for a while. As we were talking, she asked what I did and I told her about the prostitute ministry and how I hoped to someday start one here in Lancaster. She looked at me weird and said she just met a lady two days before who was asking her if she knew anyone who would want to go out and talk to the people on the streets of Lancaster with her. Umm... what are the chance of that? so I excitedly gave Kristin my number so she could give it to this lady who I knew nothing about, but I just had a feeling... ;)
Last Sunday, I got a phone call from a lady named Debbie. She was the one whom Kristin had met. I started telling her about the ministry I am in and she was telling me about her heart for the lost in Lancaster. That day I was about to head to LA to go to another training class for the After Hours ministry (which I had to speak at!! whoa!! That might be another blog I have to write... LOL) and invited her to come, but she couldn't make it. So we made plans to meet for dinner on Thursday.
But in this phone conversation, she mentioned wanting to start a home of some sorts. Whether it was for girls only, or another homeless shelter (there is only one that we know of around here... and it is small... and kinda smelly...), she didn't know. But ever since Sunday, I had been thinking about it and that Thursday morning, the morning of my meeting her, I had decided I wanted to start writing down ideas for our possible ministry and/or home. Not only ideas, but what I knew God would want to do with it. It was as if I would be planning it out, without a building, in faith that, if it's His will, God would provide the building if I step out in faith and start 'planning.' I don't usually think stuff like that. I'm not exactly a prophet. LOL But something in me said to start writing things out in faith that something would happen.
Thursday night we met at Panera Bread and immediately she took out her Bible. She told me God had her up at 4am yesterday praying for me and He gave her a verse for me (Isaiah 61:1-3) which she wrote out on a card and laminated for me. So sweet. She then pulled out a notepad with other verses she had come across that morning. One was Habakkuk 2:2-3:
"Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay."
WHOA! Write it down?? It will surely come?? Crazy! Just as she had come across that verse and was praying for me, that very morning I had the idea to start writing things down... wow...
She then turned the next page and she had a whole page filled with ideas for a home/shelter!
AND THEN!! Here's the best part. Oh Lord, if this isn't confirmation, please show me!
She mentioned that she went to the Dream Center in LA and went through discipleship program there. I said that the lady I do ministry with went through the same program... Laurie Ishii. She almost fell off her chair. They knew each other!! For years and years! What a small world is that?? I mean seriously... what are the chances that I would meet an ex-junkie/prostitute in Hollywood through a friend in Simi and then 6 months later meet an ex-druggie from Huntington Beach in Lancaster who know each other?? So cool!!
Needless to say, I am a little jazzed! I dunno what God is going to do through this and what He will actually lead Debbie and I to do, but even still, things are slowly falling into place and every day God gives me another glimpse as to why the AV is where He truly wants me. :)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Waging War
More lyrics. I know, I know... I post lyrics a lot. But this is an awesome song. Trust me ;)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Waging War
by Cece Winans
Anoint my head
Anoint my feet
Send your angels raining down
Here on the battle ground
For your glory
Were taking territory
Fighting unseen enemies
Like never before
Were Waging War
(Bridge)
I’m tired of principalities
Messing with me
(Waging war)
I’m tired of the devil
Stealing from me
(Waging war)
I promise he won’t get
One more thing
(Waging war)
I’m taking it back
Taking territory
(Waging war)
I’m ready for the battle
I’m ready to win
(Waging war)
My weapon of power
He lives within
(Waging war)
I cant be defeated
The enemy's gotta flee
(waging war)
I’m taking it back
Taking territory
Going into battle
Going into battle
Going into battle
Be my sword
Be my shield
As we claim the victory
Over the enemy
In your name
You rule and reign
Never being defeated
Anymore
Were waging war
(Go back to bridge)
(Bridge 2)
Fire by night
Cloud by day
A strong tower
Send the latter rain
Lion of Judah
Lord, God,
Mighty In battle
Since you did
It back then
We know you’ll do
It again
Going into battle
Going into battle
Going into battle
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Waging War
by Cece Winans
Anoint my head
Anoint my feet
Send your angels raining down
Here on the battle ground
For your glory
Were taking territory
Fighting unseen enemies
Like never before
Were Waging War
(Bridge)
I’m tired of principalities
Messing with me
(Waging war)
I’m tired of the devil
Stealing from me
(Waging war)
I promise he won’t get
One more thing
(Waging war)
I’m taking it back
Taking territory
(Waging war)
I’m ready for the battle
I’m ready to win
(Waging war)
My weapon of power
He lives within
(Waging war)
I cant be defeated
The enemy's gotta flee
(waging war)
I’m taking it back
Taking territory
Going into battle
Going into battle
Going into battle
Be my sword
Be my shield
As we claim the victory
Over the enemy
In your name
You rule and reign
Never being defeated
Anymore
Were waging war
(Go back to bridge)
(Bridge 2)
Fire by night
Cloud by day
A strong tower
Send the latter rain
Lion of Judah
Lord, God,
Mighty In battle
Since you did
It back then
We know you’ll do
It again
Going into battle
Going into battle
Going into battle
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A Unique Language
It seems I have this thing for music. Especially worship music. *Especially* Hillsong worship music. It has this affect on me to where it makes me cry or makes me really happy. If I am at a place where God wants to break me, His praises complete the brokenness in me. Or if I am broken, the words comfort me.
But whether it is worship music or not, God still speaks to me through it. It's His own creative way of catching us off guard and bringing us to a place to where we have no choice but to think about Him. Mmm... I love music.
So today on my way out to pick up my coworker for work, I was listening to... *what*... yes you guessed it: Hillsong worship music. And this song came on that hit me. It said in it's chorus:
Yes, I love you More Than Life
Oh, I love you More Than Life
Whoa. I started to belt it out but then I had to stop and ask myself:
Do I love Jesus *More Than Life*???
What would that look like to love Jesus more than life? How would my life look as a whole? How would it look on a day to day basis? Would I worry? Would I get stressed out about situations? Would I fill my life with distractions, friends, food, hiking, new relationships, girls nights, instead of spending time with Him when I need a comforter or a companion? Can I truthfully and whole heartedly sing to Jesus that I love Him *More Than Life*?
Not sure. I have to think, evaluate, and pray about that question. But until then, I am going to work on making my life look more and more like that. And during that time, I will go ahead and belt those words out, with faith that the more I focus on Him and His praises, the more He will make those words true in me.
And until then, I will keep listening to my music and letting God speak through it. Mmm... music.
But whether it is worship music or not, God still speaks to me through it. It's His own creative way of catching us off guard and bringing us to a place to where we have no choice but to think about Him. Mmm... I love music.
So today on my way out to pick up my coworker for work, I was listening to... *what*... yes you guessed it: Hillsong worship music. And this song came on that hit me. It said in it's chorus:
Yes, I love you More Than Life
Oh, I love you More Than Life
Whoa. I started to belt it out but then I had to stop and ask myself:
Do I love Jesus *More Than Life*???
What would that look like to love Jesus more than life? How would my life look as a whole? How would it look on a day to day basis? Would I worry? Would I get stressed out about situations? Would I fill my life with distractions, friends, food, hiking, new relationships, girls nights, instead of spending time with Him when I need a comforter or a companion? Can I truthfully and whole heartedly sing to Jesus that I love Him *More Than Life*?
Not sure. I have to think, evaluate, and pray about that question. But until then, I am going to work on making my life look more and more like that. And during that time, I will go ahead and belt those words out, with faith that the more I focus on Him and His praises, the more He will make those words true in me.
And until then, I will keep listening to my music and letting God speak through it. Mmm... music.
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