Roses... By Many Other Names

I feel almost weird writing this after my last post with that funny picture. While I do want to be more creative with my blogs and even start to see more humor in life, this subject definitely isn't something that while I was doing it, I thought, "Whoo hoo! Blog material!" But, I do need to get this all off my chest and want people to know about it... so blog it is! ;)

A little background, I have mentioned (quite a bit), my desire to minister in the inner city and (I think) I have also mentioned that the people in the city that I feel the most burdened for is the prostitutes. These girls who think they have to do this to survive, or are forced to do it for pimps, it makes me so sad. Not to mention the lives and marriages that are being destroyed because of this 'business.' It's so awful.

A few weeks ago I went to a class to learn all about the business of pimps and prostitutes. I had no idea how much was involved and all the politics behind it. Not to mention the brutality of how these women are treated and how they are even brought into it. It is so sad. On our way there, my friend Brandon was asking me about my accounting job and he made mention of how someone who actually *likes* accounting is pretty unique (haha) and so I should try to do something with it someday that would be more meaningful to me. WELL while we were at this class, Laurie (the lady who leads the ministry... she used to be a prostitute and addicted to drugs until Jesus set her free from it all! Yay!) mentioned that they are looking for an accountant and so for us to be praying for that for them. Brandon looked at me with these big eyes and I couldn't deny that the timing was crazy! "Ok God.. you're telling me something here, huh?"

Over the time since then, I have had contact here and there with Laurie. She was out of town for a bit and then I was out of town for the Resolved Conference (oh yeah... still have to write about that too!) but we knew eventually we would sit down and talk about my involvement with the ministry. During this time, my mom came across a video that she sent to me. It was another one of those confirmations where I thought, "YES! THIS is why I WANT to and NEED to do this!" It's only a piece of a sermon so it's short: ;)



There are girls out there on the streets who feel like that rose. Tore up, used, barely holding on to their stems to keep them together... and overall, feeling unwanted. I want to go tell them all, 'JESUS WANTS YOU!' They need to know that.

Two days ago, on Friday, Laurie and I, after a couple days of phone tag, got to talk on the phone. Doubting myself, and also (sadly) God's hand in all of this, I shyly asked her if they were going out to do outreach that night. "Yes we are at 10! You wanna come?" OF COURSE I said yes!! I couldn't wait!! But, could I really do this? Could I really reach girls (and guys) who are in a lifestyle so different than anything I have ever experienced in my own life? "Yes Jen... because you have Jesus" I told myself... I am learning the art of talking to myself... speaking truth to myself (Thank you CJ Mahaney!)

After work I met Laurie and Daryl for dinner and we got to talk a lot about what my role will possibly be as I help with their accounting/bookkeeping. We also talked more about the outreach too. We went back to their place and prepared gift bags to give to the girls... great conversation starters! It helps them feel a little less on guard when you give them a free gift. Plus it's our way of showing them how special they are; they aren't used to being given free gifts just for being them.

At ten, we were picked up by Julia and we went to 7-11 to get some coffee. After that we sat in the car and prayed for a while for God's will to be done in all areas of the ministry.

We went out to the track where a lot of girls can be found. In the couple of hours we were there we got to talk to about 10 girls! Plus one runner/pimp-in-training (he was only 23! Just a boy out there!) who was really nice and receptive. It was all so Heartbreaking! These girls are so young and seem so scared to be out there! You can tell by some of their faces and even by what they would say that they don't want to be out there but don't see a way out.

I was asked if I felt scared while I was there and I wasn't at all. I, instead, just felt like I wanted to bawl my eyes out because I was so sad by what I saw. Although I have to admit, while I wasn't scared, I was still nervous. Not because of where we were or what we were doing (I totally felt like God was protecting us!) but because I felt unsure of how to talk to the girls. I wanted to smile at them so I didn't seem intimidating and wanted to be welcoming, but then if I smile too much or too big, am I gonna seem fake? Ahh I was a little frustrated with myself and my social awkwardness (at least I thought I was awkward... I dunno, maybe I wasn't) but I know that if this is something God wants me to do (which I really feel like it is!) that He will give me words and teach me more about myself and refine me to make me the tool He wants me to be to reach these girls for Him! :)

I am still so jazzed that God opened the door for me to do this. It's something that has been on my heart for a long time to where now that I have this open door, it doesn't seem real!

Oh Lord Please continue to use me! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!