Ok wait... it wasn't THAT unthinkable. Hold on. Let's back track...
A few weeks BEFORE I decided to apply for World Impact, I had a little bit of car trouble. I had a clunking in my engine that worried me. My extremely honest and honorable mechanic told me it was because my struts needed to be replaced. While I didn't doubt that that was true, something in my doesn't-know-any-about-cars-whatsoever mind doubted that struts would cause noises in my engine. The little logic that I have as a women (there I said it!) still screamed that something didn't make sense...
Luckily I chose to hold off on such an expense because less than a week later, my headlights went out. It ended up being a short in the wiring. While I was there (a different mechanic in LA) the clunking noise stopped happening. My new friend had noticed a loose spark plug and tightened it for free! How nice! He also noticed I had a coolant leak but he wasn't too concerned and said to keep an eye on it and check up on it in a month or so. Month... sure...
FAST FORWARD to the week after my WI decision (and only a couple weeks after the 'minor leak' was noticed), my sister and I were driving home from Target when my car decided it didn't want to drive fast. "Oh no, not again," is what flashed through my mind (and if we knew exactly why I had thought that, we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we currently do...) I pulled over into a park and ride, turned off the car, and then, acting like I knew what I was looking at, I popped the hood. "Hmmm... engine is still there..." but then I noticed a TON of water pouring from the bottom of my car. Ummm... not good.
What it came down to? Replaced the radiator, replaced the thermostat, and fixed a leak in the manifold. That meant some fairly expensive parts and a LOT of labor... which meant a lot of money and a week with no car.
"Ok wait God... so I tell you that I am ready to take the next step, to trust you with my finances and to lay down my pride to let others help me, and THIS happens? Makes sense actually..."
The irony, or not, of the situation was, well, ironic enough that I couldn't even be upset. It seems that whenever I make new commitments or promises to God, He immediately works to test me to see if I will actually stick to it. (Someday I will tell you about my 'remove my idols' prayer to God which left me with 4 unusable bridesmaids dresses! It's funny now that I look back on it...)
Through it all, I learned to let others drive me around...
(best hitchhiking picture EVER!)
To let others help me with my finances (something all missionaries HAVE to do... but I don't like it!)...
To let God take care of me in ways that I am not used to...
To be thankful for what I do have, and not always focus on what I don't have...
To never forget my towel... (hehehe)
Oh and one other thing I learned...
1 comment:
I love you Jen!
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