Too Many Excuses. Too Little Time.

Last night I stayed up into the wee hours of the night working on my application for World Impact. And in all that time, I got half way through page 4... of 30... and this was just the easy stuff (but to be fair, I didn't start til almost midnight). Next to come are all the essay type answers I have to write. It's going to be quite a process, but I can already tell that God is going to stretch me as I complete this application. Having to face my past and write it out on paper, having to describe in my own words who Jesus is, what the cross is, what the church is(to name a few) to me, having to not only describe my ministry goals but also why (that's harder to answer than you think), plus MANY other things... it's going to be a growing process. And that's just the application to be considered!

Through all this though, I have been thinking about the last two years since I made the decision to *someday* be in the mission field... thinking about what has occurred, what God has lead me through, how I have tried to run from it in various ways, and some of the reasons why I ran. Here's what I came up with...

Reasons people who are called to be missionaries don't become missionaries:


1. Am I really "Called?"

I don't know how to describe it, but when you're called, you're called and you know it. But there are times when because of fear, we wonder if we really are. Perhaps things aren't working out the way we think it should so we doubt God's sovereignty through trials and His leading throughout the way. But when we finally sit down, search God's word, and pray, we know. I don't know how to describe it except... Divine

(Any reference made to anyone who is called is not to put them on a pedestal. And any reference made to anyone who does not feel called to missions is not to put them lower than those who are. God has a different purpose for all of us and if we were all called to full time missionary work, who would be in workforce supporting the missionaries? Not to mention their ministry to coworkers and to those around them. That is their calling and it's just as divine an appointment as uprooting and doing full time missionary work. What a good God we serve who allows us to serve Him using our gifts and desires!)


2. Fear

There are plenty of different fears we encounter when God is calling us to something. We fear it's not actually God's will, we fear what others will think, whether it be people thinking we are crazy for doing it or people thinking we are failures if it doesn't turn out as we hoped, we fear we will be wasting our time or God's time... yeah... lots of fears...


3. Money

One of the main things that has been holding me back from applying sooner for World Impact is the fact that I have student loans to pay off. The actual raising support doesn't bother or worry me... if it's God's will, He will provide the funds. But the thought of having my supporters pay for my debt for a degree I didn't finish? It feels funny.

But then last week I was talking to one of our pastors. I mentioned the reason for my hesitancy regarding my loans and having others help pay them off. Given that he is paid through the church, he then said, "Well who do you think pays my debt?" Hmmm... good point. Perhaps I need to just not let my pride get in the way of letting people help me? Perhaps...


4. Unequally Yoked

In the last couple years, I have found myself in relationships with guys who either are not called to full time missionary work or just really don't have a reverence for God's work in general. Without getting too far into the discussion of being unequally yoked in marriage to a non Christian, I will say that I believe it's even possible for two Christians to be unequally yoked. I never felt right being with someone who didn't want to go into missionary work, specifically inner city missionary work. While I was open to where God might be leading if that meant to follow a husband elsewhere, I knew deep down that I still belonged in the inner city. To be married to someone who is not in missions would be heart breaking...

However, I still found myself in such relationships and it made me doubt God's calling on my life. The desire for intimacy and to be married became more of a priority for me than what God was telling me and I was quickly ready to decide that I wasn't called to missions for the sake of not 'being alone.'


5. Desire for Marriage

On the same token of being unequally yoked, I know of a handful of people (specifically girls) who fear that if they go into the mission field, they may never meet anyone. "Perhaps God wants me to not go so I can stay here and be a wife and mother," they say (and I have thought myself). This is definitely valid and it is possible, but I think one thing we are forgetting is that if God tells us to go, we need to go!

One thing that finally got this idea out of my head was when I was talking to the pastor I mentioned. He told me about a conversation he had with his daughter who also wants to do missions. She said she feared she would marry someone who didn't want to do missions and he told her straight out that she would be miserable if that were to happen. Then he said this, "But where would be the best place to meet someone who wants to do missions?" The Mission Field! Duh Jen! It's so simple but I have never thought of it that way before! Don't go because I might miss out on meeting someone here? That's absurd! God's will (my singleness or someday marrying) is not based on if I stay in Lancaster or if I go elsewhere... it is based on if I stay in His will, wherever that is! That's it!

Oh and just to be clear, I am not saying that someone should go on the mission field with the purpose of meeting someone. Not at all! I am just saying that wanting to meet someone shouldn't be a reason to not go. You trackin' with me? ;)


6. Education (or lack of)

I never finished my Bachelor's degree. What if I can't be used unless I have it?

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then I said, 'Here am I! Send me.'"

- Isaiah 6:8

It doesn't say, "Who has a degree and is equipped with amazing amounts of knowledge and experience?" God just asked, 'Who will go? Who is willing?' Whew. Thank you Lord. Send me!


7. Prior obligations

I have a job. I book keep for After Hours. I reach out to the girls and guys on Friday nights. I have various ministries I take part in at church.

A lot would have to be done to make sure these responsibilities are taken care of by the time it is time that I leave them. It will be a God thing to have them all taken care of perfectly so that I could leave with peace and not with the feeling that I am abandoning them.


8. Family

I have:

parents who I can talk to about virtually anything (James 5:16 will do that to you... most humbling thing ever, but then after that, what do you have to hide?)

siblings who are close and we work on keeping it that way

a sister-in-law who is like my own sister

a niece and a nephew who are beautiful beyond words and I love watching them grow up

...and many other people who I can't imagine not having close by.

Am I willing to miss some special moments with my special people for the sake of the gospel being known by people who are strangers to me right now?



There are so many things to consider and so many reasons that we use to excuse ourselves from doing God's work. I don't want these excuses to be mine anymore!

Lord give me strength. I don't pray that any of these obstacles will be removed, but that You will be most glorified as you give me the strength to stand strong in the face of the obstacles. Thank you for your calling to do your work!