Reflecting

Last night, The After Hours team threw a' First Annual After Hours Cheesy Christmas party' and let me tell you, we know how to have a cheesy party. Complete with the ugly sweaters, goofy white elephant gifts, and every item of food having some kind of cheese in it. It was pretty amazing. But those aren't the reasons it was amazing...

On our drive home from the party, the Husband and I were discussing the ministry and all the changes over this last year. It was still less than a year ago that our founders stepped down and Jen took charge of the ministry. It was just a month later that I was voted in as a board member. And it was right around that time that Jen, Julia and I, almost all our members at that time (missing a few people), sat down at Starbucks to rough draft where the ministry was going to go from there. I was excited, but wondering what God was going to do with a ministry that was back to the bare bones again.

Less than a year later, I found myself at our party with a little less than 20 people who are now a part of our team! and there were even some people missing! Not a week goes by that we don't have a least one team on the track... and sometimes we have to be broken up into multiple teams! God has grown this ministry so much! Not to mention, just this last week, a young girl we have been praying for for months made the decision to leave her pimp and is now in a safe house! Oh me of little faith... I wondered what God could or would do through three young girls... now I know!


It all brings me back to the continuous, daily struggle of 'Am I called to this? Am I fit for this kind of ministry?' A year ago it was based around the doubts that I could be of any help to a ministry that is starting from scratch again. But today, it comes from the doubts that I have much to contribute to a team that is flourishing, full of bold, Jesus loving, go-getter people while I am still timid and often doubt what God can do through me.


But God, being pretty amazing in this way (well, EVERY way), reminded me today as we finished the book of Acts in church, that the question shouldn't be about what we are called to. We know what we're called to. We're called, as Christians, to make His name known. From there, it's all about stepping out there and doing something about it. Something! Anything! So if it means knowing that a flourishing ministry needs a bookkeeper, who made not be the best but is willing, so be it. God's really good at taking care of all the details from there.


On that note,

THANK YOU for your prayers for the ministry! We covet them now more than ever as I'm sure we have the enemy's attention ;) Not to mention, it is only through Christ and because of Christ that any of this has happened or will continue. We need Him so thank you for continuing to pray. and remember to pray for our young friend who is in the safe home.


Thank you Jesus for all you've done and using us even when we feel like we have nothing You can use.

Big News?

Well hello there bloggers!

I feel like there's something really important that I need to tell you. Hmmm what is it? Something important...

Oh yes!


I GOT MARRIED!


November 20th came and went quickly like any other day. But unlike any other day, I ended that day with a different last name, a husband, and a boarding pass for the Dominican Republic! It was a wonderful day, a great week long honeymoon and now I find myself settling into married life. Life is swell!

Pictures of the wedding and honeymoon to come soon! As well as an outreach blog since I am going tomorrow!

Until then...

(every newlywed couple is allowed at least one kissy picture on the internet right? I hope so cause other wise me and the person who's facebook I stole this from are in trouble!)




I say we need a caption for the look on my pastor's face... :)

Pity Party

I think I'm ready to talk again. I haven't been for a while. I've felt so negative about... well... everything that I really didn't want to infect others with it. But I'm ready now so here goes.

About a month ago we had an outreach training with World Impact and I had really been looking forward to it. I was excited to see how many people would show up, what God would do while taking the new recruits on outreach with us, and to see who would end up joining our team. Things were going well as the day approached. Wedding planning was (and still is! Two weeks!) going smoothly, time set out for Jesus was a regular part of the day, and my excitement for the ministry was as present as ever,

Then on my way to LA, something happened. I stopped by a food establishment (one that I shouldn't have stopped at anyway! No fast food Jen!) and I got a look. Yup, just a look! That's all it took! Some random girl I have never met and probably never will see again decided to stare me down with a mocking smile. I checked my teeth for food, my nose for boogers, and my hair to make sure it wasn't standing up in some way. All good. But for whatever reason, this person decided I was a good target to make herself feel better about herself.

It worked. I cried the whole way to LA wondering what was wrong with me and almost turning around at so many points on my drive. I decided I hated people. Why do I want to minister to others when people are all so cruel?

I somehow got myself to outreach and with my sad and hardening heart, I put a smile on my face and led a team out. It was horrible. To the few people we did meet I had nothing to say. I let the new recruits step in where I was lacking. We meet the sweetest woman who had such a gentle spirit and kind smile and yet all I could think is 'Who was she mean to today? Why am I here??'

Because God will be glorified regardless, outreach was still a success without me. But the desire to ever go back was gone. I missed going. I missed my friends. But I didn't know how I could go back with such an attitude toward people that wouldn't leave. Luckily with wedding stuff, showers, and other busy-ness, I never had to make the choice of if I should go with my attitude or not. God knew I wasn't ready, so He made sure of it that I couldn't.

The attitude remained. I would get cut off on the road and it would increase. The hatred. My time with Jesus... almost non-existent. My fiance was the best support as he continued to encourage me to be in the Word. I rarely did it, but appreciated his gentle nudging.


Then it happened. Today.

My mom sent me an FB status that a friend of hers had posted. It read:

"In the Atlanta airport. Just saw a total gangsta - pants sagged down to his knees, pick stuck in his hair, tattoos everywhere, headphones blaring - help a little old white granny figure out her gate and boarding pass. And then? I hugged him and told him he was precious. Yes I did. This is a true story. I am a freak."


In one small glimpse, I was reminded that there is good in people. It has nothing to do with what the guy looked like; for me, it had more to do with proving to me that people are still worth reaching out to.

But they should have been seen that way anyway! And not because there is good in them, but because God has so much good to give to us! He was spit on, abused and killed and yet still reached out and loved there very people who did that to Him (Us!)


And there you go. That's how God knocked me out of whatever stupid, selfish funk I put myself in.

And to that girl who looked at me funny and started this whole darn thing (ok she didn't... I did... but still), maybe I will get the chance to hug her...

Oh and to my outreach compadres, sorry! Miss you!

The Pen

(+5 points if you thought of Seinfeld when you read the title of my post. You people make me smile.)

Just like every other Tuesday I walked into my office, ready for another day of paying bills, answering phone calls, and odd conversations.

But unlike every other Tuesday, I found this on my desk waiting for me:



Why? "My husband saw it and said you needed it, because you're like a lamb."



It's the little things, and the amazing people, that make the bill paying, the phone calls, the odd conversations, and not to mention the commute, all worth while ;)

Creative Accounting

I am a firm believer in the idea that you are either creative... or you're not. Take me for example. I have never been able to draw more than a stick person and anything that doesn't have step by step rules just confuses me. I need structure and rules in order to know how to get things done.

And that's why crocheting seems to work for me. It's not that creative of a craft (as some people think). You follow some steps, chain here, stitch there, and if something is messed up, there was probably some step that was missed. Go back and fix it and there ya go.

Either way, I am letting myself believe I may have a little bit of creativity in me... and I think that's ok.

So what have I been working on?? I'm so excited to tell!!

For my fiance (Eeeee I love calling him that!):




It's a Settlers of Catan 'Ghan! Thanks Lucy for the easy hexagon pattern and this chick for the idea in the first place ;)

What's next? Oh this is what I am REALLY excited about!



Cute little hearts!! Wedding planning has begun ;)


By the way, I haven't written about outreach in a while because I haven't been on outreach in a while... different schedules, weddings, carmageddon scare... adds up to almost a month of not going :/

BUT things are flourishing with the ministry! Please keep us in your prayers! :)

Last 2 weeks...

A LOT has happened the last couple weeks. Two big things have happened:

1. My parents are going to Ethiopia!!! In the very near future they will be going to meet my little sister and hopefully, not to far after that, they will be going back to meet her!


2. I'll let pictures tell you... ;)

Prostitute Outreach - 6/10/11

I'm gonna do my best to control my 'word vomit' because I already have a tendency to ramble a lot and I feel like there is a lot to write about from last night so bare with me :)

Last night was a huge new step for us! While Jen has already been working on developing relationships with people in the area, Bible studies, women's homes, pregnancy centers, etc, we had also had a desire to have relationships with the churches in the area. So it was really exciting last night to be able to conduct a training class at a church that is just blocks from the track!

Quite a few people showed up and nearly all of them (about 17 of us) joined us for outreach afterwards. Jen did a superb job at teaching the class all about the game, what to expect on outreach, and how else we can team up in this area.

During the class, someone had asked how many girls we have seen get out of the game and what the statistics are. As Jen started to explain how tough it is for girls to get out, one of the girls in the class raised her hand, motioned to the girl next to her (I believe it was her sister) and said, 'We are living proof that you can get out.' She herself was in the game from age 13 to 28. As she continued, it came out that her dad was a pimp (now a Christian) and her husband was too and is now training to be a pastor. Praise God! Sometimes I doubt if we are really making a difference and if these walls can really be broken down. When it comes down to it, I doubt how big God is. I can't speak for the rest of the team, but boy did I need to hear this girl's testimony! At that moment I was pumped for outreach because I was reminded of how powerful Jesus is!

We split up into four groups and took different parts of the track. My team was Katie, a new girl Ali, and I. The other teams seemed to have pretty crazy nights with a lot of meetings with people, but we only met two. But those two people made the night worth it!

The first girl we talked to, M, we had to chase... oops! We had parked pretty close to her but she started walking pretty quickly away from us once we started walking towards her. She was at least over a block away, as we were speed walking, when I started praying that God would turn her around. And she finally did! We finally caught up and got to talk to her. She was so appreciative of the gift, but wouldn't let us pray for her ('I already pray a lot.') We started talking more and got mixed answers as to how long she had been out there. As we were ending the conversation with her, I told her that there is a phone number in the gift bag if she ever needs anything or needs prayer. The number wasn't good enough. She wanted to be able to reach one of us. So not only did she take my number, but she actually gave me hers! I am praying she will actually answer when I call and that her phone doesn't get turned off...

The second woman, T, we kind of found by surprise. We were driving down the track and a truck kept driving next to me. I didn't look over to see what the people looked like, but when I would speed up, they would speed up and when I would slow down, they would slow down. I finally turned quickly down a street so they couldn't be near us, and there was T! We got to talk to her and pray for her for quite a while. She has two daughters around the age of 40 (she did NOT look old enough to have a 40 year old daughter!) and she really needed money for her gas payment. She said she often woke up in the morning wishing she hadn't woken up. Katie got to talk to her in more detail as I watched the same truck pass by us a few times. As Katie continued the conversation, I prayed quietly that the truck would leave us alone. By the time we finished praying with her, the truck was gone, T had tears of thankfulness for God sending us to her, and it was time to meet up with everyone else.

Please pray for M, that she will answer her phone when I do make contact, that she will be open to a friendship that will eventually lead to her letting God change her life.

Please pray for T, that she would know that prostitution is not the only way to pay her bills, that God DOES care about what happens to her, and that we will see her again.

Please pray for the area and the people in the churches stepping up. That these relationships with flourish as they become more active in reaching out to the girls.

Please pray for our team, that we would continue to be unified in Christ, holding each other accountable, and trusting each other as we do God's work together.


God is so good! He is a big God!

Holding on for dear Life!

I haven't been happy with anything I write lately so here's some pictures! Yay!

Thursday night was the last night BF and I would be able to hang out for a couple weeks since I was leaving for Lake Havasu for the weekend the next day and he was leaving for Ecuador just a few days later so we had to make sure we did something especially amazing. So when he showed up at my house on a bike he borrowed from one of our pastors and wanted to take it for a ride, I couldn't wait!

Don't be jealous of our awesomeness!

Yes it was my first time on a motorcycle. Yes I was freaking out. and yes I look like a bug...

Speaking of my weekend and fearing for my life (in a good way!) here's one of the things we did in Lake Havasu. On a raft being dragged by a Pontoon. Take a look at that view!

I'm the one in the yellow who refused to let go!

Please pray for BF and the rest of the team while they are in Ecuador. I can't wait to hear how his first (of many we hope!) missions trip is going! (you really think I would date someone who doesn't also have a heart for missions??)

OH! Almost forgot to add this! My parents got their referral for a baby girl! I'll let my mom tell you more about it!

De Ja Vu!

Read along with me friends...

First, Read Isaiah 39.

Got it? Good.

Second, read 2 Kings starting in verse 12.


I read Isaiah in church on Sunday and then 2 Kings yesterday morning. I was going crazy yesterday trying to figure out why it was so freshly familiar.


Think God might be trying to tell me something?

Book Report (kinda)

1 of my 500 million favorite parts of The Midnight Patrol:


Mary Scott (before she started her work on the streets) was living at a Girl's Industrial Home where she was looking after new recruits to the Salvation Army. One of the girls, who grew up with quite a charmed life, came back a complete wreck after spending a week a maternity home for unmarried mothers. She would have nightmares of the idea of even having to go back. She grew up so sheltered from that kind of life that she didn't know to process all of it.

(Now this is when I interject my own thought of throwing the little brat back in there and making her get used to it. This is real life! ...but that's just me).

Mary, having compassion for the girl, went to talk to the Major about the girl:

Ought not young cadets like [her] to be shielded from such knowledge as she had unwillingly gained, from such disillusioning experiences?

Major Grace Jackson was not so sympathetic as might have been expected. Salvation Army officer were not to be shielded from unpleasant things, but exposed to them. At the time Molly [Mary] felt the reply she gave was almost ruthless. But she never forgot it. Down through the years the stern words came to her, reminding her that she had enrolled as a soldier and was engaged in a battle.

...'Scott, you've got to look at sin,' said Major Jackson grimly. 'You've got to look it in the face, stare at it, glare at it. You've got to see it for the awful thing it is. And then you've got to go and do something about it!'

Oops!

Well, as predicted, it's Tuesday and I never did blog about last week's outreach. But here are at least some random thoughts about it... and some random thoughts not about it. Okay okay... so here are some random thoughts about anything.


1. Outreach

Friday night (4/15) was pretty amazing! We had a team of six girls so we were able to split up and each take different sides of the street. There were tons of girls out! Unfortunately we also received a lot of rejections too. A few people were pretty open (including a guy who tried getting into a debate with us. 'The origin of religion is the word horizon which originated with a guy named Horace. It's in the dictionary. Look it up.' - ok guy...) but most of them didn't really want to talk. We think it might have been training night for some of the girls because there were a lot of them standing along who wouldn't even make eye contact with us. You could feel the fear and yet see the stone cold looks on their faces as they tried to be strong. So sad...

2. Connections!

Just earlier that day, Jen C received a pretty amazing phone call which only shows one of the many ways God is moving in the ministry and in the area. But I'll let her tell you the rest of the story...

Update: Oops... her blog is gone! In short, a woman (we refer to her as 'Dana') in our area called a preacher who has a television show in Florida. She has turned to prostitution to support her children and wants prayer to get out. This preacher then found a way to contact Jen, asking her to contact the woman.

We are hoping to go visit Dana this week!

Atop that, Jen has made connections with 'groups' in the area. There is a pregnancy center in the area that is interested in teaming with us. Also, a guy from the church we're connected to just started a Bible study in the area also. He says there are girls who show up to the study too. Jen and I are going to go visit the study this week when we go see Dana. Praise God for divine appointments!

No matter where you live or what your passions are, there are always small (but SO significant!) ways you can team up with this ministry. I'm gonna cheat and link again, but here are ways you can help After Hours Ministry.


3. Latest Read

A few weeks ago, Jen (sometimes I think my readers must think I am talking about myself in third person. Just think 'Jen C' anytime you start to worry!) mentioned on FB a book she was reading. It's called The Midnight Patrol: The story of a Salvation Army lass who patrolled the dark streets of London's West End on a midnight mission of mercy. (I know... long title). I found it on amazon for a few bucks so I figured I would check it out. I kind of assumed it would be about maybe helping the homeless or something at the most. But no! Written in 1974, it's a story of a woman who used to go out to the streets to reach out to the prostitutes! Sweet!

Needless to say, I can't put it down. I was about to blog about one of my many favorite parts, but this post is already too long so I will do that later. But in short, it's really good. I highly recommend, whether you're into reaching out to prostitutes or not ;)


Ok that's all. Random thoughts done!

Last week?

I should have blogged about last week's outreach after it happened. I really should have because it was pretty amazing. But now? Now I can't remember all the details. Ask me to quote you Seinfeld or tell you about a vendor I paid two years ago at work and I will tell you check number, amount, and date. But what did I eat for lunch yesterday? ::shrug:: Gotta love memory.

So the most I can hand you about last week's outreach is that we ran into Gary Chapman and he sang for us.

No... not THAT Gary Chapman! Silly.

...And there you go.

But I'll say this: If you prayed for us, Thank you! Your prayers were felt and answered :)

We're going back out at 1am tonight. Let's hope I'll remember to blog this time. Prayers appreciated!

SO obvious...

BF says I never gave him any indication in the past that I was interested. Looks like SOMEBODY needs to learn how to read the signs! Sheesh! ;)

Thanks Abe

Prostitute Outreach - 4/1/11 (by Jen C)

To start off, if you were wondering just how nutty/bad at making decisions I am, check this out:

Friday night we already had the plan of meeting at 1am for outreach. Given that the round trip back home and back to LA later wouldn't be worth the time (plus gas is killing us all these days) I had made plans to take a nap at Julia's before outreach. Pretty smart, right?

Then comes my dear Jen C. A bad influence, in the best way possible, convinces me to skip the nap and go to a Dodger game with her instead. So from the time that I got out of bed Friday morning, went to work, enjoyed the game, did outreach, and then drove home, I was pretty close to 24 hours without sleep.

And so was Jen when she wrote this blog... (and yet was still able to write a fantastic update!) ;)

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear friends,

A lot is happening and it is hard for me to find time or I guess the level of concentration needed to write. So, here goes nothin!

In the last few weeks we noticed that there weren't many girls out on the track when we would do outreach and we began to pray about possibly changing the time and or location of our outreach.
The first thing we did was decide to go out later or should I say "earlier"...the last 2 weeks we have met at 1am to pray and hit the track at about 2.

The first week, we still didn't see a lot of girls, though more than usual. We ran into a guy who runs a local liquor store that I have talked to on several occasions and asked him what was going on. He said the cops were doing a lot of undercover busts (we happened to meet a few several weeks before) and that girls were getting arrested and the track was quieting down. So I asked him where the girls were and he gave us a location just a couple of miles from our normal track. At the end of the night we went to check it out and just as he had said we saw several girls in the first couple of blocks. We decided that the following week (last night) we would go to the new track.

Back up a few minutes.... while on the old track (confused yet? ;) ) we met two sisters who were a very sweet and very broken pair. They had been working for over 30 years and they were eager to hear how we might help them change their lives. We tried to connect them with a home that night but weren't able to make the connection, so we gave them our number and took theirs and prayed with them. We weren't able to connect with them this week, but I am still hopeful that we will soon. As we were talking with them, I remembered that I had one scarf left that my sister had made for the girls and thought it would bless them, we encouraged them to remember that God was pursuing them and had good things for them when they looked at the scarf. Will you please pray with us for these two sisters?

This last week I was still in prayer about the track and where we should be and one afternoon, while thinking of all the events of the last week I realized God had already answered. In one week, the Lord connected me to a pregnancy clinic, a newly formed Bible study and a Young Life group in the exact area where we minister. Wow! Surely God is working in this area and bringing His people together, with all different gifts to reach His people. I am so blessed by the connections that have been made and excited to see how God will use the various ministries to draw the lost to Himself.

This Friday night we had enough people for two teams so we split up, one team went to the old track and one to the "new". Both of us met a lot of girls and gave out several gift bags. One thing we would ask you to pray for is the openness of the girls, that they will trust us and receive us as we seek to reach out to them. It seems that with the increased police activity, the girls are less likely to stop and talk with us and apparently we all look like cops :p

We absolutely covet your prayers for this ministry, we trust that the Lord is leading us and that He has us and we are so thankful for your partnership in prayer. For the most part we go on outreach on Friday nights, but our team needs prayer coverage all throughout the week!

In His grace,
Jen C
http://www.afterhoursministry.org/

All in Favor?

About a month ago, we had a meeting for After Hours and I was asked to join the board of directors. I wasn't expecting this AT ALL so they told me I could pray about it and we'd discuss it again at the next meeting. Well, our next meeting is Sunday so I'll be voted in... that is, as long as they all still want me ;)

I've been reading up on non-profits with my handy dandy Nonprofit Kit for Dummies book and the other day I skipped ahead to learn more about being on the board:

You don't want just anybody to serve on your board. You want to choose the wealthiest, most generous members of your community who believe in what you're doing, will come to all your meetings, be advocates for your programs, provide honest and ethical oversight to the organization, and sweep the floor on weekends.

Wait... what?? ::Turns Page::

You won't find many board members who fit this description.

ummm you think?

Even so, the following three traits are critical to the success of the organization:

*Believing in your mission
*Being a good advocate on behalf of your programs
*Serving the organization as a careful and honest board member

Whew! Those Dummie authors had me going for a second there!


As you can see, this only scratches the surface of some of the changes this ministry is going through. Prayers are always appreciated! :)

Declaration of Dependence!

I realized with all the bookkeeping and projects I work on at home, something was severely lacking. With having a degree in business and being in the business world for quite a few years, I knew that one of the first steps to being 'successful' was to have a good workspace. Working off a bombay chest and the bottom shelf of my book shelf wasn't the way to go. I needed an actual desk.

I set out to find something simple. I have limited space so I looked for something within the dimensions it would fit as well as in the price range I was willing to buy in. It didn't take long til Target came through with a desk that would not only work, but that was pretty too!

I started thinking of how I was going to go about getting this desk. It was heavy so I would need help getting it into my cart and into my car. I had never really assembled a piece of furniture on my own before so I might need some guidance with that too. I started thinking:

"Well I could always have Brad go to the store with me with his truck."

"I'm sure mom or Ron could help me assemble it."


But the more that I thought of options of who I could get to help me, the more a feeling of pride rose within me:

"No Jen. You can do this yourself. You don't need others. You don't need a man. You're an independent woman!"


As silly as I knew this quest for claiming my independence through a desk was, nothing I could tell myself would change my mind. It was settled. I had to do this on my own to prove, if only to myself, that I am an able person and can do things on my own. I don't know where this came from. I really don't. But it was there and that was that.

I went to the store and humbled myself enough to have a store attendant bring the desk out to my car... yes my little Yaris, telling myself it still counted as doing it on my own because I had to get the guts to ask for help (Seriously Jen??)


Two days later when I had free time during the weekend, I started working on assembling it in the garage. I had plans in an hour but I naively believed I could finish it in that amount of time.

Two and a half hours later, I was frustrated, had scratches on the desk that, turns out, was a two person job to assemble, had a sweet guy wondering where I was all this time... and yet, I still wouldn't ask for help. It wasn't finished, but I would finish later... on my own.


I later on joked with my family about the pride that caused me to do this all on my own, but it wasn't till later that I realized how ridiculous I really had been.

I was so set on being an 'Independent Woman' that I missed out on some amazing blessings and the chance to bless others:

*I have a family who loves me, who takes care of me, let's me live at home, and would have loved the chance to help me if I had asked.
*I have a really great guy who enjoys being creative and working on projects. He waited patiently for me to finish this desk, while I could have had him join me to spend time together while completing it.
*And, most importantly, I have a God who I can't do anything without. I can't come to Him without His grace, I can't 'succeed' without His will, and I can't even breathe another breath if He chose not to give it to me.

Independence? Is that really something I want?? I think not.


But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." 
- James 4:6

P.S. Although it is now a symbol of my sin, check out my cute desk! :)

Update: Check out this quote I just found!

Tim Keller: “One of the principles of love—either of love for a friend or romantic love—is that you have to lose independence to attain greater intimacy.” (Reason for God, 47)

Encouraging!

I have a love/hate relationship with the Mark and Brian show on KLOS. Love because they are all hilarious, play great music, and it helps the daily commute to LA go that much faster. Hate because... well, it can get kinda dirty sometime. Just not really my thing.

Anyway, I have a new reason to love the show. Check out the two-part testimony of one of the personalities on the show... it's worth your time, my friends ;)

Cough. Sneeze. Turn Page. Repeat.

I haven't had the chance to give a full update on the changes and happenings of After Hours Ministry, but I will soon. In the meantime, keep praying and praise God that He is in control (because He is the only thing that makes sense!)

Until then, here's a small hint of what I have been up to lately. Or at least trying to do lately... don't you hate it when takes you 10 times longer to get things done when you're not feeling well? Ick.

Gotta love the 'for Dummies' books. Who woulda thought I'd buy one though?? ;)

Outreach tomorrow night. Pray pray pray! :)

The Throne

Yesterday in small group we had a discussion regarding if we truly do long for heaven and for Jesus to come back. We can say that we do, but do we still wish for other things here on earth to happen first? With an ashamed giggle, I had to admit that just minutes before going to group that day, I was thinking out loud with my sister of what I think, or hope, the next few years will bring about. It seemed like a pretty simple plan, what God would want. But then as we started discussing in group, I realized that the idea of Jesus coming back before any of these things happening hadn't entered my head.

If Jesus came back before I ever get married, before I have my own kids (biological or adopted), before I get to do full time missions, before, before, before... would I be disappointed? Or do I choose Jesus' return before my one-, three-, or five-year plan?

With that rolling around in my head, I drove down to LA for church service and a meeting. After an amazing message through Hosea, we entered a time a worship with an exhortation from the pastor: "Worship Jesus right now with everything. If you won't in here, you won't anywhere else."

Wanting to focus on Jesus alone during this time, I found myself distracted. I thought about how much I loved the music, I wondered what was to come with my meeting after church, I thought of the people I didn't get to see that day because I was out of town... and all the while, I witnessed the people around me with stretched out arms, singing as loud as they could as they praised God for all He has done.

Why was I so distracted? What do these people understand about this time of worship that I don't that causes them to praise without distraction, without worrying what others think, or without trying to impress others with their spirituality (you can tell the difference...)? I wanted to be before God's throne and worship with everything in me.

The throne.

"And above the expanse over their heads there was the likeness of a throne, in appearance like sapphire; and seated above the likeness of a throne was a likeness with a human appearance. And upward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were gleaming metal, like the appearance of fire enclosed all around. And downward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and there was brightness around him. Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around.

Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking."

-Ezekial 1:26-28

"...I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!"

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke."

-Isaiah 6:1-4

"At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald."

-Revelation 4:2-3

The throne!

Marriage? Kids? Missions? My plans? Do I want more than any of these things to see him on His throne? To worship him with all the creatures of the earth? To fall on my face before Him??

YES Jesus! I want Heaven!



Just an hour later, I was at our ministry meeting. We discussed new changes and what is to happen next. And all the while, I sat across the table from someone I care about, who wears their pain on their face. A weak "I'm here" smile was the most I knew how to offer. It killed me.

Marriage. Kids. Missions. My plans. Do I want more than all of these things to be in a place where there is no pain? To see an end to slavery, to divorce, to gossiping, to dissension amongst family members. To be in a place where there are no more tears?

Yes Lord. I want heaven. Come soon.

Gulp

Two days ago, I read Proverbs 17:

4 An evildoer listens to wicked lips,
and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.

7 Fine speech is not becoming to a fool;
still less is false speech to a prince.

20 A man of crooked heart does not discover good,
and one with a dishonest tongue falls into calamity.

27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,
and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.


Yesterday, I read Proverbs 18:

2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing his opinion.

4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters;
the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight,
and his mouth invites a beating.

7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.

8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
they go down into the inner parts of the body.

13 If one gives an answer before he hears,
it is his folly and shame.

20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied;
he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruits.


Today:

My boss walked into the room when a coworker and I were gossiping about someone.


I feel sick.

No One is in Trouble, But...

Part of blogging on blogspot means you get this fancy little button that says 'Stats.' With this feature, you can see how many people look at your blog within a certain amount of time, where the people live (or at least what country), what posts they are reading, and... how they found your blog.

At least once a week, someone finds my blog by googling my first and last name. I'll admit it's a little creepy...


Who are you people who look me up??


Just curious ;)

Are you Sassier than a 5th Grader?

The conversation:

Me: You girls should really be nicer to and about your little sisters. Someday you will be adults and your little sister might become one of your closest friends...

My 4th-6th grade girls at church: But they are so annoying! ahhh!! ::add some words like 'stupid' and 'hate' in there::

Me: Yeah my sister was annoying too. But now she's almost 21 and not only can she see why she annoyed me, she is no longer annoying and is really cool!

5th Grader: Wait... she's 21? how old are you?

Me: 27

5th Grader: ::looks at other girl:: wow... and she's not even married...


And on that note...



OH! but I guess I should add this, the gift my Valentine MADE for me :D

I feel spoiled...

and for Tomorrow?

Two and a half years ago, as I was volunteering at the Dream Center in LA, I had this crazy and original (or so I thought*) idea that instead of only volunteering in the inner city, it could be a good thing to live there with the people...

The next day, Keith Phillips, President of World Impact, came as a guest speaker to my church in Simi Valley. He told about his ministry in the inner city for the last few decades (*proving my idea wasn't so original) and from that moment on, my heart has ached for the mission field...

Six months ago, I decided to stop sitting around and finally work on my World Impact application...

Today, after sitting on my application even longer, Keith Phillips came as a guest speaker to my church in Lancaster. I don't remember the last church service where my heart has beat so fast the entire time...


My head is spinning. I don't like feeling torn.


For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Selah
-Psalm 62:5-8

Gotten

I have a confession to make...

About a year ago, there was a huge buzz on the radio about Slash coming out with a new album. I've never been a fan, but I have never been a not-fan either, but for some reason, I have been wanting the album ever since. Every song features a different artist performing with him... Fergie, Adam Levine, Ozzy (should I also confess that I really like his voice?? lol)...

So yesterday, with my Borders gift card - which I had to use before they go bankrupt - I finally bought the CD.

And I LOVE it! Every song. (er... except the first line of the last song... lyrically it's... eek!) There's not one song that doesn't make me feel amazingly musically fed. And here's one of my faves... ;)




Thank you Mark and Brian. Your musical tastes and recommendations have yet to fail me.

Prostitute Outreach - 1/28/11

Written by Jen C :)


You could say tonight began like any other night...we all met up at Laurie and Daryl's and went from there to 7-11 to pray. There were 5 girls tonight and true to form we began the night with being goofy and giggling a lot... even though we faced some hard realities tonight, our sense of joy never left and we simply enjoyed our fellowship as we were out. Some of us even got new nicknames which I could never explain in an adequate way on this blog so I won't even try. :)

When we first hit the track we saw a few girls here and there and at least 3 saw us and disappeared (sometimes...ok, almost all the time, they think we're cops and they run :/ ). Then we saw a group of three girls and Julia, Katie and Lindsey went to talk with them and give them gifts. They recognized them and were friendly but said they didn't need prayer. Katie remembered one of their names (cause she's awesome!) and the girl was blown away, praise God!

The next girl we talked to was approached by Katie, Lindsey and Julia as well and they walked with her for awhile and she began to open up, she had also seen us out there before. She said she wanted to get off the streets right then, but as they continued talking (and she found out they were serious!) she began to back out and told a story about moving back to Georgia where her parents are... it was hard to discern which parts of the story were true. The girls prayed for her and she continued on her way.

The last girl we met absolutely broke my heart, she was 14. At first she looked sort of weirded out by us (Jen and I were talking with her) then I thought she might cry. As she talked about her family and her life I could tell she didn't have a lot of hope and didn't believe much for her future. I asked her if she had a relationship with Jesus, she said yes. I asked her if she knew he loved her and she hesitated a little. I asked her if it was sometimes hard to believe that He loved her because of all she experienced, she said yes. I told her that His love was real so much that He sent us to tell her about it and to offer her hope. She definitely started opening up to us as we continued talking and then I asked her how she got there and soon discovered she wanted to go home but needed a ride, so we took her home. I do believe she was working out there but it was a little bit of a strange situation. Either way, praise God for the conversation we had and that we were able to take her safely home! Once we got her home, I prayed with her and said goodbye.

By this time it was getting late and we were way off our normal track so we decided to head home...but not without a few more laughs on the way ;) Praise God for the joy He gives!

Please continue to pray for these women and for After Hours Ministry, thank you!

Update

I promise I do my best not to ramble... but perhaps I really don't try enough...

1. Pictures

So turns out I am awful at keeping commitments. Ok that's not true. I have had my job for 3-1/2 years and a boyfriend for almost 2 months (and that's a BIG DEAL! - it really is... turns out I might be one of those runners or something...) but commitments to taking pictures everyday? I just can't do it. I have kept a camera in my purse consistently for the last who-knows-how-many years and the number of pictures I have taken in that time can probably be easily counted. So... soddy, but no more of the picture a day stuff. Back to our scheduled (or lack of scheduled) program.


2. Seminar/ROAD TRIP!

Last weekend Jen and I went to a human trafficking conference, called 'Freedom Summit' up in Fremont. It was super fun! Well, I mean, human trafficking isn't fun. But the road trip part was fun. A lot of 80s dance party type stuff going on as well as her teaching me how to play 'Hey Cow!' while driving the beautiful 101 (it's a more complicated game than it sounds... ok not really... hehe). Anyway, we discovered that there wasn't a whole lot of new information for us to learn there. I really enjoyed hearing Dave Batstone speak (author of Not for Sale) and speakers from Hagar Cambodia, but overall, it may be a seminar for people who don't usually talk to trafficking victims on a regular basis. But over all, it was great to take time off work and officially break in Eunice! (Yes... I did finally name my car. Cute right??)


3. World Impact

I haven't updated on this in a while. I have been at a point where there isn't much I can do to move forward. I need one more reference and I am having a hard time filling that spot (under specific criteria). There is a relief that I have to wait as I have been torn about the whole deal lately (for perhaps obvious reasons? If you think about it, you may figure it out...) but overall, should this last reference be filled, I really don't know what I would do. Going forward or waiting... neither gives me peace. Neither option feels right. Prayers appreciated... :/


4. After Hours

I was going to write more when I first drafted this post, but that was before I had posted the last update. I wasn't there, but last Friday was pretty amazing. We are going out tonight and I'm excited to see what God does! We are really praying about how to continue to bring the ministry to the 'next level' and so far, God has been every bit of faithful to do that for us ;)


The end.

Prostitute Outreach - 1/21/11

While Jen (yes we are 'Jen and Jen'... we are super cool like that!) and I were up in Fremont at a Human Trafficking conference, the team was out on the track talking to the girls. As Jen pointed out to us today, right around the same time they were talking to the woman about leaving for a home, God had prompted Jen for us to stop what we were doing and pray for the team and that there would be life changing decisions made that night. How amazing the Holy Spirit is!

This is written by Cynthia about that evening. I don't know what the story is on M***** now, but continue to pray for her and the rest of the girls.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Two weeks ago Friday was the first outreach I had been on in about two months. When I showed up, I was so thrilled to see the Lord had been busy raising an army of us to reach the girls on the streets! There were three new team members who joined us and praise God for more who are willing to give up their Friday nights to reach the lost!


This past Friday was a special night and I didn’t want too much time to pass before I wrote about it – not to boast about anything we’ve done but to glorify God who is working through us. This time there were five of us and we piled into my car around 8pm to head out to the track. As we arrived, it seemed to be pretty quiet on the streets. We drove a while without seeing any girls – but then again it seems like that’s always how it starts.

Then we saw the first one and Julia, Sharon and Katie approached her and were able to talk with her and give her a gift. And the night went on like that for a little while – we handed out a few more gift bags but not too many girls were interested in speaking with us in depth. We were able to pray for a couple of them however and I am always blessed when God opens that door.

Then we came upon N****. She was a little put off by us at first not really wanting to engage us in conversation (she probably thought we were cops like they all do). I assured her we weren’t and asked her where she was from and boy did her answer shock me – she said Alaska! Alaska??!! Really? What in the world are you doing down here?! She had only been in California about a month and half and found herself in bad circumstances (which she did not go into detail on) and there she was – on the streets! Oh how my heart broke for her! I told her she needed to get back home and asked her if she knew Jesus. Here is where her eyes welled up and she said yes but she was just going through a time right now – pray for her. Pray that she will get out of the game before she gets stuck down here.

Later Julia, Sharon and Katie went to speak with another girl and while Daryl and I were hanging out waiting for them we spotted another girl across the street. We went over to speak with her and she seemed broken right from the start (she had also obviously been drinking). Sensing that she might be open to the idea, Daryl immediately asked her if we could find a place for her tonight, would she be interested in leaving the streets – she said yes! Wow! All the times I’ve been out there I’ve never heard a girl say yes to that question!

We were sort of at a loss as to what to do so Daryl started making phone calls to find a place that would take her. In the meantime, I prayed with her and then she began to speak and on and on she went. I could hardly understand her but she had tears in her eyes and she seemed like she was so tired of doing the wrong things. She was also lamenting about her four kids and how she had done them wrong. Well this went on for what seemed like forever – Daryl on the phone, M****** going on and on and we finally found a place that was going to come and pick her up right away. By then the other three on our team had joined us and we were all standing out there, freezing, praying, hoping that M***** would follow through (I’ll be honest, I had my doubts).

As we’re standing there, other girls stopped by to see if M***** was ok – I mean, after all, she was surrounded by five white people and she was crying and ranting etc… We of course passed out gifts to all the girls that stopped by (one a daughter of a minister!) and one who touched my heart. A*****, only 19 years old who’s father is dead and mother is in jail. So she’s out on the streets on her own – pray for her safety.

So this scene continues for 30 min maybe 45 and then all of a sudden M***** walks away saying she can’t go to the home tonight because she promised her daughter who is in jail that she would visit her tomorrow and she didn’t want to break that promise. I really felt that was simply an excuse and that she just became scared – but perhaps she really did need to see her daughter. So we honored her request, took her phone number and promised to call her the next day after she visited her daughter and arrange for her to go to the home.

Sadly, Julia attempted to reach her multiple times Sat eve as promised but got nothing but her voice mail. If you’re reading this, please take just 2 min right now and plead with the Lord to change her heart – that she would not be afraid, that she would call us back and leave the life she is so tired of.


I know this post was long but believe me, I left a lot out. God is working and we are so privileged to be a part of it. Please pray for these girls….

A Year in Pictures - Day ?

I did an awful job at keeping up with my daily pictures over the weekend. To make up for it, I will give you two today ;)

1. After not seeing my special guy for 4 day because he was gone at work, I was not only excited to see him, but I was also met with a surprise: he shaved his head! I was definitely surprised at first, but I really like it. Now I just have to control myself to not proclaim, "You're in the Jungle Baby!" every time I see him... Poor guy has to deal with my cheesy humor ;)

2. Friday night I went to eat dinner in one of my favorite places in Hollywood... Tender Greens! Yummy salads and sandwiches and things that are seemingly healthy, but with all the delicious flavors they put on it, probably not that healthy ;)

As I stood in line, scoping out a place to sit, my eyes made contact with someone who looked familiar, but it took me a second to figure out why... it was actor John C Reilly! He's been in a ton of movies. My favorite is his part as Amos in Chicago. You're no Mr. Cellophane to me, buddy!

I found a table on the other side of the restaurant facing the window to watch the people walk by... and guess who ended up stopping to chat with someone right outside the window? YUP! Check out my paparazzi skills...

I should probably add that outreach on Friday was pretty amazing ;) I will try to blog about that sometime too!

A Year in Pictures - Day 6

Be kind... I am using my cell phone for a camera.

My lunch today? Food that's bad for the body and 'food' that's good for the soul! Mmmm... it was a nice break!

Mmmm Chipotle

By the way, as I sat quietly eating and reading, I saw two cops go by... on horses! In Hollywood! By the time I stopped laughing and decided I should take a picture, they were gone. As wonderful as time in the Word is, the cops might have been a more interesting picture... soddy!

A Year in Pictures - Day 5

I was gonna blog about something else... until these showed up at my desk...

WOW! I am so spoiled! I really don't feel like I deserve to be treated so sweetly!

Then it got me thinking of God's salvation for us, His grace, and his blessings and gifts. Sometimes I forget, even in the midst of being a recipient of them, how much I don't deserve anything that's good from Him. He is so good to us!

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:11

Guilty

I'm pretty sure this sums up my blog...

Thanks (yet again) Abraham and this guy... oh and Lemony Snicket too (How many need-to-get-to-those-eventually books are you allowed to have until you have to just stop collecting? Because this book might be added to that collection soon...).


By the way, if I don't take a picture by the end of the day, this is my cheater solution to still having my daily pic. I'll do my best to not make a habit of it.

A Year in Pictures - Day 3

As predicted, today was a snow day. And being the 'summer-lovin-cold-hatin' girl I am, I stayed home all day. I decided I am more than ready to return to work, to be productive... so to fill that need to be productive, I cleaned my room, crocheted a lot, read 20 chapters of the Bible (usually I read 10 a day!), caught up on bookkeeping, and listened to John Piper speak at the Passion conference.

But one thing I did NOT do today is let my sister beat me at cards... (sigh...)

P.S. I miss my nutty coworkers. :P

Speechless

Revelation 4

1After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." 2At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. 3And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. 4Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, 6and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.

And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: 7 the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. 8And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!"

9And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

11 "Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created."

A Year in Pictures - Day 2

Unlike any other place, when it snows in CA, everything gets shut down. "Everything" meaning freeways.

I have been off work since the 23rd. My inbox will be a mess, I have tons of 'beginning of the year' projects, and, I'll admit, I do miss having a normal schedule...

But that said, should I pray what has begun today continues? This could change my plans to return to work tomorrow... oh darn (sarcasm intended)

2011?

Updates on life have been neglected because:

a. refer to my last post. (and if anyone wasn't able to figure out the cryptic drawing, I have a boyfriend! Yay!)
b. when I am not at work I am not online much. It's REALLY nice! But my faithful followers suffer...
c. Christmas! New Years! So much happening!

So to quickly update, and follow up on a post from a while back, I am back on facebook. For the time being, I feel like my narcissism has taken a rest... but prayers are appreciated that ALL will be for the glory of God... and will stay that way ;)

And another update... I am almost to day 50 of my "10 chapters a day in the Bible" reading plan! That's 500 chapters of the Bible that I have read in less than 2 months! Take tha New Year's resolutions! Who needs a date of the year to start something new and amazing! (and if anyone was wondering... the book of Judges rocks. Do it!)


Oh and speaking of New Years... Happy New Year! About 5 of the bloggers I follow are doing this whole "picture a day for a year" thing. I think it's kinda cute and it gets people to blog more, so I am gonna take my shot at it.

Given that I have about ten minutes left of January 1, this picture will be of what is directly in front of me and will give a description (or maybe not?) of what I did for New Years Eve:

Sorry it's so dark!

Here's to 2011! I'm starting it off well with yet another rambling blog post... ;)